In this fast-paced world where we are constantly connected and spending much of our waking hours juggling never ending to do lists in and out of work, is it possible to achieve the perfect work life balance or is the idea simply a myth?
Emma Pennycard from BeCoaching delves into the complexities of achieving a healthy work-life balance, exploring whether it’s truly attainable in today’s fast-paced world or if it remains an elusive myth.
Myth?
The term work life balance suggests that work is not a part of our life. It sounds like it is something we need to get out of the way each day to then get on with and enjoy our life.
When we feel that way achieving balance is unlikely.
On average, according to the Office of National Statistics, we spend 85,000 hours at work in the course of our working life which is 29.4 % of our total waking hours over a 50-year working life.
And that does not account for the time we spend preparing for work, commuting, and working overtime.
Add to that the thoughts and feelings we experience when we have a negative mindset about work. And wishing the hours away until we can get back to our life, our metaphorical scales are going to feel weighed down firmly on the side of work.
There is also the question about how we perceive the unpaid work that also keeps us busy most days. The life admin tasks that fill our to do lists, housework, preparing food, paying bills, looking after loved ones, school runs and after school activities, the list of life admin goes on and on and significantly adds to our mental load.
Does this fall heavily on the work side of the scales because a lot of it can feel like work and isn’t usually fun, or does it fall on the life side and in which case how much time does that leave us for the fun side of life?
Possibility?
Whether you work full time, part time, for a company or for yourself, if you are a working parent, caring for elderly relatives or have hobbies and interests that take up a lot of your time, it is safe to say we are all busy. Too busy.
Trying to achieve a perfect balance of everything we do every day is simply not possible. And, even if it where who is to say that this is the key to our happiness.
For some being at work is a joy and an escape. It can be where we shine, where we feel a sense of achievement and purpose. Working less is not necessarily the key to the perfect life balance.
Life balance is about creating a life that includes a mix of all of the things we want in our life and where we can let go of the things that are not serving us.
Balance is a feeling. Life balance is about creating a life that includes a mix of all of the things we want in our life and where we can let go of the things that are not serving us. These are usually our own expectations of the things we think we could and should be doing. These are the things that are weighing down our scales and giving us a feeling that we are not in balance.
Creating the perfect balance does not mean 50/50 it can be 60/40 or 90/10 if that is what works for you. It is all about your own perception and what makes you happy. Because happiness comes when our reality matches our expectations of how life should be.
When we are able to notice that things are off kilter and take action to lighten the load then balancing the scales becomes a possibility.
How?
What can we do to create more balance in our life where our reality meets our expectations?
- Get clear on what is most important and let go of the rest. We need to stop beating ourselves up about all the coulds, shoulds and woulds and get clear on what we want our life to look like.
- Reduce the mental load and prioritise your to do’s based on what’s most important. We are not superheroes and the sooner we realise that the easier it will be to find the balance. Learn to delegate, delay and ditch everything that does not make the most important list leaving you with a to do list that you can actually do.
- Boundaries – learn to say no to the things that are not serving us including other people’s expectations. We cannot do all of the things for all of the people and when we try, we end up disappointing people and mostly ourselves so far better to manage expectations from the outset.
- Be flexible – it is ok if you need to work at unexpected or unusual times just as it is ok if you have time off. Do not feel guilty or allow bad habits to form, learn to adapt and adjust, and accommodate the ups and downs of life.
- Manage your energy not your time by prioritising self-care to rest and recharge so that you have the resilience and energy to deal with all of the things that make up your life.
- Be present if you are not in the moment is it really happening? To have balance you need to have the head space to be there and enjoy it.
Remember that balance is an ongoing journey not a destination but if you keep taking intentional steps forward it is possible to create a life that works on your terms.
